>Watching Kismet Konnection (KK from now on as writing the full name isn’t worth the effort!) after paying 200 bucks per ticket (excluding the 60 odd bucks for parking my car), forced me think how reckless
I have become in spending my hard earned money!

The Story:

I remember people commenting on how stupid the story of Jaane tu ya jaane na was! Well they clearly did not see KK coming. It’s a plot which will make wafers look like a sumo fighter’s tummy! Boy meets girl, she is already engaged, boy has a dream, boy gets ambitious….yawn yawn yawn. I couldn’t believe Aziz Mirza, the director of such lovely movies took this story seriously and decided to make a movie of it. The story is predictable which is OK, but it is dull to the point of being plain silly which is not OK. I have deliberately stopped and not elaborated much (trust me their isn’t much either) because I don’t want to kill the FUN (pun intended!) of the brave hearts (no pun intended!) who would dare to go and see this movie.

The cast:

Shahid Kapoor – Poor guy! I am not a fan of him but he appears to be a bit serious about his profession. In this movie, he has fallen short of partners. At times he is Shahrukh khan, and I don’t know whether it was pre-meditated or not because being Shahrukh Khan (acting wise) is not a compliment in totality. (Naming Shahid Kapoors character as RAJ MALHOTRA obviously couldn’t redeem the flawed storyline and a screenplay which had uncanny resemblance to a wooden plank which is just lying on the road and continues to lie there)

Shahid’s friend – He follows the traditional 80s approach of being a ‘hero’s friend’. I am talking about the ‘traditional delayed response’ form of acting, where the character in question will understand the joke 5 minutes after everyone else. Trust me it looks just dumb. For the most part he is given handful of dialogues to repeat after every 5 scenes in ultra hyper decibels which are “Raj we are getting late for the meeting. You know how important this meeting is! What’s your excuse of being late today?”

Om Puri – frankly I don’t think I can ever comment on guys like Om puri, naser-ud-din shah or very recently Irfaan Khan. But what I can assure you is that whenever he is in the frame, you get the feeling – Man! There is so much to learn for all these star kids/relatives and other wannabe actors! He is excellent!

Boman Irani – Quite nice. He is fast joining the legendary league with his versatility. He appears only in 3 scenes or maximum 4, does a good job Himani Shivpuri – Playing Om Puri’s wife is good. She gets very few scenes but is ‘very present’ in them. Love the way she instructs her husband to ‘lower the tone!’ (and how Om puri responds!).

The liftman – Yes he appears in one scene. He is good

The policeman – appears in one shot is good.

A guy who is shown walking in background is also excellent!

Am I forgetting something?? Oh yes! Vidya Balan – For some reason was always shown with something to eat in her hands! I don’t like to make ‘weighty’ comments but the least the dress designers could have done is to hide the bulging biceps of Vidya balan. She delivers her lines as though she is not convinced herself. Her emotions don’t make you feel sad for she has played an exactly similar role in Munnabhai (how many times will she stop an age old home from being demolished only to fall in love with the guy who is hired to demolish the age old home!). She according to me was a mis-fit (no WEIGHT pun intended!)

Juhi Chawla – Just when I thought she cannot look silly ever (Yes EVER!) she accepts this role of a fortune teller who looks like a witch herself! That is understandable because for some reason movies depict the lady fortune tellers like that. BUT I couldn’t understand the rhyme and reason for her constant overacting. It hurt to see her ham like there is no tomorrow! We laugh at Rekha, Mousmi chatterjee etc. for accepting silly roles when they are ‘past their prime’. Well Juhi chawla gets to the list with this role! Its quite embaressing to see a fine actress wasted. You actually feel awkward the moment she arrives. A small caveat – don’t look for chemistry between Shahid and Vidya Balan.

Their on screen chemistry will solve the problem of global warming…it’s so cold!(like the entire movie!) And if people will come back shouting at me saying ‘it’s a family movie and director couldn’t show any ‘chemistry’ scenes, then I would politely ask what was the need for the director to ask Shahid to repeat an abuse which is spelt like Har__i for at leat 7-8 times and that too loudly!

The Music I have already reviewed it in mouthshut and urge you to please read it here https://almostareview.wordpress.com/2009/03/04/kismet-konnection-music-review/ 4 out of 5 songs are disappointing and that’s a very bad score!

The direction and screenplay and all the other techicalities which I dont understand but I feel I am wise enough to comment upon:

Aziz Mirza has a typical style like everyone else. The problem is that in KK he is a little too obvious. (Reference – Lord Ram pic scene, the killing slow motions and so many clichéd situations). You never feel that you are watching a NEW movie. Sorry sir but we have been spoilt by you only to expect more bang for our buck when we see your movies! The ever so continuous chorus in the background singing aaaaaaaa aaaaaa makes you feel like that Karan johar and Yash Chopra have ghost directed this film. The screenplay is a test of your patience. I was playing mental chess with myself in many scenes and the scene would just not end even after I won the game! Editing is yet to be done in full I guess!

Final Verdict

Your money can seriously buy you better stuff. Don’t see this movie if you want to see something new and refreshing. Kung fu panda or the dark knight would be a better choice…  I went to see a movie, I saw Kismet Konnection and I am yet to recover! I hope directors continue to make these kind of movies to solve the problem of global warming..! (For a change, India will save the world this time!)

Someone help me now!